My Rant is:
Douche-nugget bouncers & doormen
other
Been to a bar, pub or night-club lately? Did you feel like you welcomed nicely by the door staff? What the fuck is up with these asshole bouncers? Yeah, you look awesome with your over-inflated biceps held snugly by a black skin-tight t-shirt that says ‘SECURITY’ on it and your shaved head; you look like Billy Corgan on steroids. Nice combo ear piece and microphone, Britney Spears. Are you in a juice monkey N’Sync tribute band? Why don’t you examine my I.D. a little longer, you fucking tard. Oh, now you’re checking your clip-board bar-star list. Awesome, good for you, you can read. How’s your steroid dick looking these days? Small like usual? I bet the scanks that frequent this place love your small cock. How’s your Chlamydia anyways? Hey here’s an idea, try smiling. Oh I know you need to look like the toughest, meanest bastard around, but come on, you’re the first person people see when they come to this establishment, try saying “Hello” instead of grunting while asking for I.D., trying smiling and shooting the shit with the customers in line. Oh, that wouldn’t be cool I guess. Okay, just keep looking like you’re pushing out a giant bowel movement then. Here’s an idea – when there’s going to be an altercation, first try talking the involved parties out of it instead of immediately resorting to choking them out with your abnormally big arms. It’s a dangerous job but someone’s got to do it, right? Too bad it only pays $6.50 an hour. Don’t spend your paycheque all in one supplement store!
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