I hate the way I look!

I'm a 23 year old woman and my whole life I've felt ugly and unfeminine. I have small breasts which I hate because all guys are obsessed with massive ones, it's as if they were never breastfed. They're just tits, dammit. They're fat, nothing else! So I don't have fat on my chest. I have learnt that big tits are better and I feel like crap 'cause I don't have them. Oh, I also have really, really thin pathetic hair. It's so thin that you can see my scalp sometimes, and I hate when it's wet because then you can really see my scalp. For that I hate going to the pool or the beach and I miss out on a lot of fun. I also hate talking to taller people 'cause they can see my scalp.

You may think "oh it's only hair, get over it", but for a woman, especially such a young woman having so little hair is devastating especially because it makes me look sickly, other people always say thick hair is a sign of health. But both of my parents have thin hair, my grandpa had thin hair, it's genetic, sure I may be losing some hair, but I've NEVER HAD THICK HAIR! Never have, never will. People think I'm abnormal or sick because of my hair, but I'm not, I'm even healthier than most people I know. I have friends with thyroid and other hormonal issues who have to take a lot of medication, and they have thick hair so thick hair means nothing about health! My hair is shiny, too, so it's not an indication of "unhealthiness". Yet I feel so embarrassed and self conscious that I am developing social anxiety and missing out on fun, I rarely go out anymore! I wish they come up with a way to multiply hair soon. Extensions or weaves or all that are not an option 'cause my hair is also really fine and prone to breaking and extensions cause a lot of damage. I don't wanna risk that. And I live in hot weather so wigs are also out of the question. I hate that society places so much emphasis on hair, it's only strands of protein dammit!!!

I just wish I was normal looking, like most girls, I don't care if I'm not the prettiest, I just wish I looked normal, with "normal" hair and "normal" boobs. My face is not ugly, but it's also not beautiful to compensate for my hair and boobs. If I had thick hair and big boobs then my face would be the least of my concerns but my face isn't pretty. I know none of these things are threatening to my health and that I should be grateful for being healthy and I am. But the psychological distress it causes is unbelievable, especially the hair thing, since it's so uncommon. I hate the way I look, I hate it, hate it, hate it, I just wanna be a normal woman with normal female experiences like doing crazy stuff to my hair or wearing low cut tops. I can do neither. Dammit. I feel incomplete as a woman.