Kindly move your shopping cart, douchebag

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CANNED VEGETABLES, AISLE 5 – oh here they are, perfect, I’ll just swing my cart around and go down this aisle. Oh, what's this? Someone is blocking the way. Oh well, they'll see me coming and move their cart over to the side for me to pass by. Oh, wait a minute, they saw me, but they're not moving at all. Weird. Why did they position their cart diagonally so that it juts out like that into the lane and takes up way more space than it has to? Oh well, probably didn’t realize that they did that. I’ll just squeeze by them with a “sorry”. Oh….looks like there’s not nearly enough room for that. They really set up a road block here. Oh well, I’ll just pull up behind them with no where to go and wait until they see me. They’ll see me, and say something like “Oh, pardon me, I’m sorry! Didn’t see you, let me move this, sorry again!” and I’ll say “No problem, no problem at all” and we’ll smile at each other and continue our shopping. Well….here I am, standing here with my cart, trapped. This person doesn’t seem to notice me. Hmmmm. They are really into whatever it is they are looking for. They seem to be looking for a certain type of canned vegetable. I’ll just wait another 10 seconds. Ahhh, there we go, they’re moving. Oh….wait……no, they’re just bending over to see the bottom shelves.
Well, I don’t want to move their cart for them….last time I did that someone yelled at me and told me to get my damn hands off their groceries. Don’t feel like a pissing match today, I’m in a good mood. Patience. That’s it, I’ll wait it out. Wow!!! This person is really taking their sweet ass time. Now they’re carefully examining two different brands of canned mushrooms. What exactly are they looking for in this examination? Okay this is fucking ridiculous. Now I’m sweating, holding back rage. Maybe I should just say ‘excuse me’ and then they’ll acknowledge me. NO…..no way…..they don’t deserve it. They fucking see me, they’re just doing this to be a prick, it’s the way people are these days….I should just run them over with my cart, full force. No, I’ll get charged with assault or sued or something. Okay, here it goes, I’ll just politely ask them to move: “HEY! DOUCHEBAG! KINDLY MOVE YOUR SHOPPING CART BEFORE I STICK THAT CAN OF MUSHROOMS UP YOUR ASS. I’VE BEEN STANDING HERE FOR A FULL MINUTE! YOU TRYING TO TELL ME YOU DIDN’T NOTICE ME? GO FUCK YOURSELF ASSHOLE!”
There, that was polite enough.